How 5 Philly-area retirees ditched their stuff and happily downsized

Your children will not want your stuff.

That’s the hard truth that retirees told The Inquirer they learned when they moved into smaller homes.

The idea of downsizing after decades of living in a home can be scary. It can help to know other people are out there doing it every day.

Here are five stories of how real Philadelphia-area locals ditched their belongings and moved into smaller homes they’re enjoying.

» READ MORE: What aging homeowners should consider when navigating their next move and decades of memories

Yolanda Roman, 67, has downsized twice. In 2008, she moved from the 2,900-square-foot Montgomery County house where she raised her children to a Florida home with 1,000 fewer square feet.

Then in 2020, the Philadelphia native bought a condo in Fairmount that is less than half the size of her Florida home.

“Everyone told me, ‘You’re going to regret it,‘” she said. But she wanted to start fresh for her next phase of life.

“It was an easy decision to make, but it was really hard to execute it.” She had “so much stuff,” including heirlooms from her parents and antique furniture she’d collected. And her three children weren’t interested.

She gave each of them a box of their possessions and went around her house on FaceTime asking other family what they wanted. Then it was “all hands on deck” with her family helping her pack, donate, and sell belongings.

Getting rid of stuff was “heart-wrenching,” but now she doesn’t miss it.

Roman was “excited about having something manageable.” She’s been enjoying her home with her dog and cat and three “huge closets.”

And she’s trying to get her almost 85-year-old mother in Florida to downsize.

“She is still in her big house. Every time I go down there, it’s the same old conversation. But she’s holding steadfast that she needs that big ole house. And I’m like, ‘Ma, I did it.’ I can’t convince her.”

“I wish I would have anticipated that I needed that second bedroom or a little bit more space to have the ability to do my artwork or have bedding for people when they come to visit. So I would just say, really anticipate what you’re going to do in the small space. And I think I cut myself short. But I’m making it work.”

Janet Johnson, 80, and her mother bought a six-bedroom house in Wynnefield where Johnson raised her children — two biological, two adopted, and too many fostered to count. “Then, they all got grown,” she said, and her mother died.

“The house was just too much.” Family liked using the pool, but she was tired of maintaining it. Cutting the grass and heating and cooling the rooms was expensive.

Johnson, her daughter, her grandson, and her two cats moved into their apartment 3½ years ago. “It’s just the right size. It’s like a little house on one floor.” That’s great for Johnson, who uses a cane.

She gave away some bedroom sets, but that was about it. She pays about $380 monthly for a storage unit, which holds a piano, a large dining room set, and other furniture.

Johnson decided to rent an apartment to get a break from maintenance, but she misses her closet space and gardening. She has thought about buying a place, which is why she kept furniture.

“Take your time, and just be careful. Get something that you think you can live with. Had I thought about it, I would have probably looked for a duplex. But it didn’t cross my mind to do that.”

Above all, “settle in, and enjoy your life. It’s our turn now.”

Marie O’Brien, 81, who said she’s “not a beach girl,” started planning her move back to Philadelphia a few years after her Shore-loving husband died.

As is the custom down the Shore, she sold her home fully furnished. Her brother helped clear out other items, and neither sibling hesitated to get rid of things. They had emptied out their late mother’s home, which included 200 pairs of shoes in their original boxes.

For O’Brien’s move, “I said to my niece, ‘I’m leaving with two boxes and two suitcases.‘” She paused. “That didn’t work out.” She ended up with 20 boxes.

O’Brien had to find new homes for expensive brass lamps from the 1960s and ‘70s and dozens of porcelain Lladró figurines.

“I just got rid of stuff because I realized nobody wants this stuff.”

O’Brien enjoys Center City life and her condo’s balcony. Her home of three years is “just the right size,” especially since “I’m somebody that hates to clean.”

“While I have enough space, it wasn’t like I had, where I had two extra bedrooms, a garage — you know, a lot of space to throw stuff into. You’re very careful about what you buy now.”

“If you’re gonna do it, do it. … I am so sorry that I waited as long as I waited. I should have done it as soon as my husband died.”

Karen Cleaver, 69, and her husband had considered downsizing for years as they got older. After he died, she still wasn’t in a rush.

“I just took my time and used Facebook Marketplace and the Nextdoor app and just kept selling and selling,” she said.

She had lots of furniture to clear out, but younger generations “don’t want this beautiful, carved Mediterranean stuff. You know, they want Ikea.” The family of a cleaner who helped her downsize took it.

Cleaver tried to give her piano away to institutions, but none wanted it. On Nextdoor, she found a band that needed one.

She met a real estate agent who “knew by talking to me that he had to give me a little shove, like the [Eagles’] Tush Push.” He gave her three weeks to prepare to host an open house.

“And by having that time limit, I had that place cleaned out, everything gone.” Her house in Bensalem sold right after the open house last year.

She paid movers to pack for her because she didn’t have anyone nearby to help.

After her husband died, Cleaver felt isolated living in a community of families and wanted to meet new people.

Homes in Yardley and Newtown were too expensive, so she found a home she could afford in a Bensalem townhouse community on the Delaware River. She’s not responsible for outside maintenance, and she’s near transit and local attractions.

“The most important thing was to set time limits. I never thought I could do it in three weeks, but I did.”

For 25 years, Donna Kinkle’s mother-in-law lived in a lower-level apartment of the Middletown Township home Kinkle and her husband, Bill, owned. But the couple worried about her safety, especially after she developed Alzheimer’s disease.

And with the Kinkles’ children grown, the home on three-quarters of an acre was too much.

Kinkle’s mother-in-law eventually moved into a nursing home. Kinkle, 71, and her husband moved into the condo they’ve rented for five years in Lower Makefield Township.

They needed something with a garage, because Bill, who built some of their furniture, didn’t want to give up his tools. “My husband’s not such a good downsizer,” Donna said.

But the downsizing bug had been in her ear for more than a decade, because her father was in a 55-plus community where residents told them: “You two should start thinking of downsizing now. You need to start clearing out stuff. It’s a big job. Don’t wait until you have to.”

The couple enjoys renting and not worrying about maintenance. That has also left money to fulfill their wish to travel in retirement.

They both have back issues, “and we see ourselves slowing up,” Kinkle said, so they’ve started thinking about their next, smaller home. They’ll eventually have to tackle Bill’s tools and Kinkle’s boxes of sewing materials and decorations.

“Start looking, so you have an idea what’s out there. Start going through things and let go of what you really don’t need.”